Okay so it is Sunday the 18th of November, it's been a couple of weeks since I have posted. However I was planning on waiting longer and next posting when I got my results but I just couldn't wait much longer. I wanted to vent about this waiting process and how it can effect you. The last day of interviews were on Friday and results can come out from anytime tomorrow which has sent me into overdrive. For some reason I was given 4 days off work so I haven't been able to distract myself at all. I've had the worst anxiety, it got to the point where I even had an anxiety attack which I haven't had in years. I've spent all day everyday with the CRP on the brain where I have been watching vlogs, reading blogs basically just googling anything to do with the process. I can feel myself talking about it too much to my family where I am getting on my own nerves. This process can genuinely drive you insane and I feel so jealous of those that are able to put it to the back of their mind and forget till results come out but after 2 years of applying and dreaming I physically can't (not matter how many times my mum tells me to). I have anxiety obviously about getting a no and giving up on this dream, which is terrifying. I have anxiety about getting wait listed which is probably the worst of all as it just means months of my constantly checking my emails and wracking my brain. And then the third outcome, I've got anxiety about getting a yes and being given a date to prepare for, pay for all the fees, saving enough money and packing my life away for a year. I'm basically the opposite of what a poster CRP applicant should be doing, I'm making myself ill with nerves so if you are applying in the future, don't take after me.
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